What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize