no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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