oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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