All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
