Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
