Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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