i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize