i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
