i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just blew my weed a kiss
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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