you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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