I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
