I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
