He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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