oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
