Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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