The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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