Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
