We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
