i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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