Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
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She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Come share oat with me in your robe
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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