I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
