If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
