she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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