I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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