Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I AM VODKA MAN
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
