I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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