I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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