Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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