My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Can I color on your dick again?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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