I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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