Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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