i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
