so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
