I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
