how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize