She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I will pee on everything he values.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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