Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
