I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
