apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
