He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize