Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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