hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
