all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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