apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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