Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
