First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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