This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
