I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
