I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Are my feet made of real feet?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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