I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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