bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
