i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
