I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
