just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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