OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
