i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize