I am in a vortex of obligation.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
please don't ironically join a cult
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