I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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